Complicated

I just got in to work, and found an email from Pat, the education coordinator, waiting for me.

She's apparently stepping down, because she thinks that I want her to, and that I've been scheming to get her out of there for some time. It's a really sad email, and it's a heck of a way to start a Monday. She accuses me of thinking that she's incapable and that I could do better.

This is particularly upsetting because I have been trying really hard to NOT make her feel that way.

And you know, I just don't have time for this drama right now. Seriously, my world is too complicated anyway, why should I have this going on too? And yet.

I feel really bad about the whole thing. I had no idea. If she was so upset, why didn't she ever say anything? Why didn't she get that considering alternative curricula was a suggestion, an idea? I have a really hard time dealing with people who assume that just about everything is ad hominem. Why can't this just be about an idea?

I wrote her back, telling her that I didn't want that job, and that I didn't mean to make her feel marginalized, thanking her for the times when she's been supportive, and asking her, if she had a problem, why didn't she just say so? Even if not to me, maybe to the former elder who is officially in charge of education, who has been encouraging me in my research?

Happy Monday, everybody. Let's hope the week gets better from here.